Diary of Suzaku's heart
by SailorKickass270
Summary: Suzaku has secretly been in love with Lelouch Vi Britannia for awhile, but he's been a master at keeping it hidden. As a soldier of the Britannian forces, he has a mission: Unmask Zero and kill him. But he's got a bad feeling that Zero is somebody he knows, a person close to him. He'll find out for sure, and so the Diary of Suzaku's strong-willed heart is unlocked. (Light Yaoi)
1. Chapter 1

Zero pressed his palms against the Geass shaped figure on the rock-solid, almost, 15 foot tall door. He had no real idea how he'd get in, but he knew he would find a way. After all, look how far he's gotten already. Dropping his sly smile, he released a heavy sigh and-

Zoom! The bullet whirled past him, just missing his left ear, grazing the door, and causing Zero to freeze, and let out a stunned gasp, his eyes widening.

…

Suzaku wasn't planning on killing Zero, at least not yet. If he did, that shot would have done anything besides miss its intended target. With the gun in his hand, a shiver ran down his spine. The same man who had stained his gloved hands with blood, Japanese and Britannian alike. What game was he playing, but more importantly, whose face was he hiding under that mask? It was time to find out.

"Turn and face me, very slowly," Suzaku ordered, his hands shaking slightly. He was a bit worried of who'd be the hidden one under that costume, but he tried to hide his anxiousness as best he could. With that, Zero chuckled darkly, unmoving from his position. "Princess Euphemia of Britannia randomly murdered millions of Japanese people. You would fight for a woman like-"

Suzaku showed no weakness in his eyes or his posture. "Geass power is a bit convenient, isn't it?" He sliced right through Zero's words with stern strength. "You get to hide and cower while others take the blame for doing _your_ dirty work. What an abuse of power."

Zero's eyes seemed to widen more. He knew of Geass? "How do you-"

Again, he was cut off by Suzaku. "Does it matter? I don't know who you're hiding behind that mask of yours, and I have a hunch, but I need to know for sure. I'll ask you once more, show me your face."

Zero turned around slowly, and confidently. "Who I am underneath matters not-" Cut off once again.

"Save it!" Suzaku shouted, pulling the trigger from pure anger. The bullet raced forward and Zero made no attempt to move. From the mouth of the cave, a still, hidden Kallen stopped herself from running to her leader's aid. She only watched as a crack formed in Zero's mask, top to bottom, and down the middle. Holding on for not even three seconds, the mask gave in, breaking in half and falling away.

Kallen covered her mouth and gasped, swallowing a sob. Without a thought, she fled from the area.

Suzaku lowered his gun, glancing down for a little then back up to confirm who he was looking at. Staring back at him, was his best friend, Lelouch Vi Britannia. The last person he wanted it to be. Yet, he was a soldier. He couldn't be weak now, no matter the circumstances.

"It had to be you…of all people. This is not something I wanted." Suzaku muttered aloud, causing Lelouch to laugh wickedly.

How could this be? Zero was his best friend? And his friend that he had fallen in love with? He didn't want to believe it, but how could he not? The facts were right before his eyes, and they were unmistaken. "Why…why didn't I arrest you when I had the chance?"

Lelouch smirked. "Why didn't you? I bet you knew it was me!" His laughs echoed in the cave.

Was he reading Suzaku as if he were an open book? "I assumed. I just didn't want it to be true. But it is, and you've been lying to me, to your friends, your sister and probably to the Black Knights." Suzaku said, spitting out every word with bitterness. "Why?"

The prince replied, and when he did, he said it as if it was the easiest thing in the world, as if he were right. "The world, this world, is a goddamn game of chess. It's about planning and attacking before you're attacked. Lying is a ally of beating your opponent and a small price to pay when-"

Suzaku's eyes narrowed angrily and he raised the gun, yelling, "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

Lelouch watched him quietly, feeling no threat. "You wouldn't shoot me, Suzaku."

"I said, SHUT UP, Zero!" His voice growled at the name of his enemy. "If I have to, I swear I will!"

With slow steps, Lelouch moved forward and reached out. Suzaku didn't flinch even as he watched his friend grip his gun, pulling it from his hands, and throwing it to the side, it hitting the floor with a small clank. Suzaku had no idea why he had just allowed Lelouch to disarm him, but just as he was about to lunge for his weapon, the unmasked Zero wrapped him up in a…hug. "My only true friend," he whispered.

Suzaku, trapped in Lelouch's arms, blushed a bit, but quickly regained his anger. "No…you're Zero! Let go!"

He tried to break free, not using as much strength as he could have. However, with every passing second, his attempt to get away became harder and harder for Lelouch, as he was not very fit, especially against Suzaku.

Lelouch let it go on for awhile, but when he felt his grip loosening, he pulled a gun from his jacket, pressed it against Suzaku's arm and allowed his index finger to do the rest of the work.

As the gun shot filled the empty air, so did Suzaku's cry of pain. He fell to the floor on his back, holding his bloody wounded gash with his unharmed arm. Suddenly becoming short in breath, his heart pounding loudly, he groaned and glared up at his attacker. "Damn you!"

Lelouch got to his knees beside his victim. "Damn me, indeed. I never planned on hurting you. I didn't want to."

Something about him, looked almost worried, somewhat sad. Was he feeling bad? Or was it just a lying expression?

Suzaku tried to sit up, but Lelouch pushed him down again, causing him to cry out. He could feel his wound bleeding more and more, his hand getting soaked with his own blood. Was he going to be left here by Zero? And if so, would he die before help could arrive?

Lelouch applied pressure to the base of Suzaku's neck; pressing down with such force it choked him, which was probably the point.

For a minute or so, he suffered, suffocating and seeing Lelouch do it with no problem, and then his vision started to fade to black. He was beginning to lose consciousness. Before he blacked out, he heard a faint voice say, "Remember, Suzaku. Live." Live. Live. Live…


	2. Chapter 2

"Quite the little survivor aren't you, Suzaku?"

The Britannian soldier didn't answer to Lloyd. He only sat back against his seat in the big, black limo as it continued accelerating to Ashford. Sure, he wasn't up for talking to anybody right now, but he'd rather be surrounded by his friends than in this car with the sociopath with white hair, glasses, and blue, twinkling eyes. Annoying, twinkling eyes at that.

The earl was in a lab coat, as he usually was, and grinning right at Suzaku.

"Why the sour face?" He inquired.

"No reason."

Lloyd didn't seem to have confidence in that response. "Ashamed you failed your mission, hm?"

Suzaku hoped his facial expression didn't sour further. "I didn't fail my mission."

"You did!" Lloyd exclaimed. "Word traveled like a flesh-devouring rat with rabies that you had Zero cornered, and that he tricked and shot you. Amazing that he got past a trooper like you, I mean-"

Whatever Lloyd said afterwards, Suzaku didn't catch it. All he could do was sulk, staring down at his bandaged arm. One thing the earl of pudding was dead-on about, Suzaku was ashamed. He had lied to the Britannian nation itself. He identified who Zero was, yet when he was questioned, he concealed the truth, but why?

The driver of the limo parked the car, turning in his seat. "We've reached Ashford Academy."

….

"It's nice to be talking to you like this again," Suzaku said, faking a smile.

Lelouch didn't bother forging one himself. "Yeah, it's definitely been a long time."

Suzaku nodded, carelessly. Why was Lelouch pretending like nothing happened? If he could, he'd read Lelouch's mind and find out what's going on! How was he not worried about his identity? Was he at least sorry that he had nearly caused Suzaku to bleed to death? Yet, Suzaku kind of wondered why he had such blunt thoughts. The day was beautiful, bright and sunny, and they were here, together, sitting under a tree in the courtyard of Ashford Academy in their silly, school uniforms. This was no time to be thinking like that.

"So," Suzaku tried to keep up a conversation. "Some members of student council told me about your sudden distant and busy personality." He examined his friend.

Lelouch leaned back against the tree. "Oh really?" he said, sounding almost unsurprised.

"Yeah..." Suzaku murmured, his voice trailing off.

They sat there for some time, saying nothing to one another, and staring off into space.

Suddenly, they both turn and face each other simultaneously, exclaiming in unison, "Can I tell you something important?"

Suzaku's heart pounded. Was Lelouch going to say something about Zero? "Of course, you can tell me anything. You go first."

"Oh…well about yesterday, I never meant to harm you." He paused as if thinking about his next words. "If you would have turned me in, they might have executed me…and my new world for Nunnally…it's a long story. I am sorry though."

After that, Suzaku's mind spun out of control. Questions ran through his brain, up and down, all around until his head started to throb slightly. If he's doing all of this for Nunnally…then there's a possibility Lelouch isn't as corrupt as Suzaku thought. He wasn't in love with an irrational idiot who kills for pleasure and animosity reasons! Or was he? Still, his friend was doing so much dirty work, too much actually.

Lelouch shook Suzaku's shoulder gently. "Did you hear me? Are you changing your mind about telling me what you were going to?"

"Oh," Suzaku bit his lip. "Well I wanted to admit my feelings for-"

He was cut off by none other than the swimming machine, Shirley Fenette, who came stumbling over to the two, pushing her orange hair back.

"I've been looking all over for you both!" She beamed, bending over to catch her breath. "Student council meeting, remember?"

Lelouch chuckled casually. "Ha-ha, sorry about that, I guess we lost track of time."

Shirley's odd smile broadened. "Aw, were you two enjoying each other's company a little too much?"

Poor Suzaku's mind had been racing about his missed chance to confess his love, that he imagined a few words. "Love birds? Excuse me?" At first, it seemed like he said it in a low voice, but he didn't. In fact, he yelled it pretty freaking loud, causing Shirley and Lelouch to stare at him.

The orange-haired girl tilted her head. "I didn't say love birds…"

Embarrassed, Suzaku forced a laugh. "Oh! I thought you did. I must be hearing things." He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah…"

Lelouch, deciding to lend his friend a hand, laughed too. "He's probably just tired. We'll meet up with you guys in a bit."

Shirley seized this as her cue to leave. "Okay. Bye Suzaku, later Lulu!" She then strolled off, in a fast manner.

Suzaku rested his head in his hands. Well, that was extremely humiliating. "Now my head is just killing me completely. I'm in agony."

Lelouch placed a hand on Suzaku's forehead. "You should go back to your dorm and rest. I'll go to the student council meeting, tell everyone you weren't feeling well, and fill you in later." He got up. "So what were you going to admit to me?"

Suzaku rose to his feet too, slowly, his headache getting worse and worse by the minute. "Visit me afterwards. I'll tell you then."

Lelouch nodded and walked away. "Feel better," he said over his shoulder.

"I'll try…"

….

Later on, Suzaku lay in bed, dressed in his own clothes besides his school uniform which made him feel a lot better. However, that headache was still there unfortunately. Was he really going to confess his love for Lelouch? What if he says he's straight? Oh the irony.

_Knock. Knock._

"Suzaku, could I come in?" Lelouch called.

"Yeah, the door is open!"

A minute later, Lelouch walked into the room. "Hey, how's your head?"

Suzaku shrugged, sitting up on his bed. "It's not as bad as before."

Lelouch nodded. "So? What did you want to tell me?"

Be blunt, Suzaku thought to himself. "Well. I love you. I've been in love with you since…a while." He waited for Lelouch to freak out.

The prince didn't. But, he did gawk at him.

The only thing that ran through Suzaku's mind; is that face he's making at me a good or bad thing?


	3. Chapter 3

It seemed like one or two hours had passed since that moment. Suzaku was in his room, his hair completely messy, and his eyes somewhat dull. He sat at his desk, an open journal in front of him, blank. He wanted to write down what had just occurred between Lelouch and him, but he was too worried. All he could do was tap his pen again and again on the table, biting his lip, remembering…

….

Lelouch stared straight at Suzaku the second the confession reached his ears, entering his brain and repeating, louder and louder. It was his thinking expression, something he did often.

Suzaku wondered if he had scared Lelouch with his words. Why did he say love instead of like? Idiot! He tried his best to smile. "Sorry, I guess I should have kept it to myself, huh?"

That must have released Lelouch from his shock because he blinked and went over to Suzaku, leaned forward, and wrapped one arm around the back of the Britannian soldier's neck.

They shared eye contact confidently, neither of them giving in or breaking the stare.

Suzaku narrowed his eyes a bit. "You're not going to hug me and try to shoot my other arm, right?" He said, almost in a lightheartedly tone, hoping it'd erase the whole "I love you" thing.

Lelouch shook his head, almost smiling, and then slightly pecked Suzaku on the lips.

This caused Suzaku's heart to thump. "Wait a minute…you're not uncomfortable about me loving you?"

The raven haired boy gave it thought. "I…" he trailed off, lost. Waited a bit and tried again. "I don't…"

The last word flashed a big, red bloody flag in Suzaku's mind. That was a bad sign. He doesn't what? He doesn't love Suzaku back? If so, then why did he give him a kiss?

Every part in his body told him to shut off, become emotionless, harden the heart, but his lips said something else. They said it was time he go into offense mode.

Without warning, he grabbed a fistful of Lelouch's shirt, and kissed him hard. At first, he tried to pull away from Suzaku's grasp, but he realized that he wasn't against this at all and kissed him back, throwing himself at his friend. Suzaku drew Lelouch in, making him sit in his lap and…hm?

…

"Hey Suzaku, you okay?" A voice called from outside his dorm, which sounded like Milly Ashford.

The sudden voice made Suzaku jump, and he ran to his bed, getting under the covers, trying to make a miserable face. Purposely, he tried to sound terrible. "Yes…I'm just…uh. Just lying down…"

"Lelouch told us you had a horrible headache. I just came by to check up on you."'

He sighed. "Yeah…I'm getting better though. I'm fine."

From behind the door, Milly smiled. Liar, she thought. "Oh okay. If you say so, Kururugi! Peace out!"

The president of student council ran off, her footsteps echoing back to Suzaku, still in bed. He exhaled in relief. That was the first time he'd ever pretended to be sick before. He expected it to be difficult. Could he feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins? Nope.

….

Kallen decided to take a walk since so much was on her mind. Lelouch was Zero who's a Britannian, who's also a high school student, who attends the same academy as her. At school, he pretends like he isn't Zero, as if he's undercover. Then Suzaku is a Britannian soldier. But they're friends? This was confusing, mind blowing. How the hell did she miss it?

She turned the corner, passing by Elevens, their heads hung, walking quickly. But was Lelouch really trying to help them? Or was it all a lie, part of some other big plan of his? Did he actually care about the Black Knights or was he just using them for his own Britannian likes?

Unknown to her, Kallen had been muttering under her breath about these thoughts.

Walking by a blond man, obviously of Britannia, she mumbled; "Why would Lelouch of all people have to be Zero?"

When she was far enough away, the man looked up, grinning uncontrollably. Gino Weinberg. And wow, the Knight of Three was excited for the news he had just learned.

…

_Entry One;_

_I wonder how Lelouch is. He seemed to enjoy kissing me for those few minutes, but in the end, he acted odd. The way he looked at me was as if I had hypnotized him and he'd just freed himself from the spell. The quickness in how fast he leaped away from my grasp was…something. Why was it that at first he liked it then he didn't? Maybe he doesn't love me. Maybe he just got lost in the moment and later realized that he wasn't into me. Whatever the case, I need an answer. I need to find out. I'm feeling a bit gross._

_This is just too mushy for me. I'm never like this. Is it Lelouch that causes me to talk and write and think about my feelings?_

Suzaku sighed and shut the book hard and carelessly, like he was punishing it for allowing him to write like that.

"Could this get any more confusing for me?" He whimpered out loud.

Why couldn't Lelouch be more open? Life would be so much easier.


	4. Chapter 4

Suzaku couldn't help but sit there and think, not assisting his friends as they prepared Lelouch's birthday cake. They were in the student council meeting room, adding the final touches to it. Shirley, Milly and Rivalz. Suzaku hoped they wouldn't ask him what was wrong. He didn't feel like lying again.

Milly Ashford grinned, clapping her hands. "This was a great idea, Shirley!" She praised.

Rivalz nodded. "Definitely! Lelouch will love it."

"Suzaku!" Shirley shouted.

The boy who had been grimacing at the wall snapped to attention, nearly jumping from his seat. "Huh?"

Her yellowish-green eyes glared at him. "Sometimes you're so weird! There's nothing interesting about that wall. Anyway what color icing do you think Lulu would prefer? We have red and blue. Which one?"

Without even giving it any thought, he answered, "Red," then went back to staring off into space.

Why was he even in this room? He should be doing other things besides being here, right?

"So Suzaku, did you make sure Lelouch was kept busy?"

He looked up at Milly, his eyes widening. Was that his part of the plan? "I was supposed to-?"

There were triple taps on the door. Everyone stopped and turned slowly. "Yes?" Shirley called.

"It's me…" Lelouch said, sounding a bit irritated. "Have you guys seen Suzaku?"

The group glanced at the Britannian soldier. And they didn't take their gazes off of him. Getting up, Suzaku scowled back at all three of them, heading to the door, sighing. Lelouch was the last person he wanted to be around. Maybe that was a harsh thing to even think about when tomorrow was the prince's birthday, but could you blame him?

"You're doing us a favor," Shirley whispered, happily. "Don't worry, you'll name will be on it too."

….

This was the last thing he'd expect Lelouch to even think about. Taking him to an empty classroom? That wasn't like the raven-haired, odd, quiet, boy he knew. But then again he is Zero, and that wasn't like him either. Point taken. Hopefully he wouldn't get raped. Not that Lelouch could do that, considering the guy has trouble in gym class. That made Kururugi smile to himself faintly.

"Did you hear the news?" Lelouch asked in a low tone as he closed the door behind them. Definitely not getting raped. Damn.

Suzaku shook his head. "What about it?"

"The Britannian Empire claims they know Zero's true identity..." His eyes flickered accusingly.

Not only did it shock Suzaku, it also hurt him. Why was Lelouch looking at him like that? As if he could kill Suzaku without a moment's thought? It's not like he was the one who had sold out Lelouch's dark secret. Or is that what…?

"You have it all wrong! I may work for them…but I never told them anything! It might just be a bluff-"

Lelouch shoved his friend into the wall. "They wouldn't bluff about Zero!"

"What is wrong with you? You know I'm a man of my word. Did they reveal you to the public?"

"No…but-"

Suzaku slid away, huffing, aggravated. "I told them nothing."

Why would he have? He loved Lelouch as far as they were concerned. And when people loved somebody, they did everything and anything to keep them from danger. That was his reason for lying to the Holy Empire. He just wanted the one he loved safe. However, Zero was never safe.

"Then who did?" Lelouch observed Suzaku, his purple eyes hard and icy with unfriendliness.

This was the truth. "I don't know." The brunette mumbled quietly.

That did it for the prince. He clicked his tongue unpleasantly. "Of course you don't." Lelouch started to walk to the exit, but was grabbed.

Suzaku tightened his grip on Lelouch's arm. "Why are you acting so cold and heartless?"

"Just stay away from me." He, without much luck, tried to pull free from the strong grasp, but failed, so he averted his eyes, looking down.

Suzaku never thought he could make his voice sound so collective and calm. He never felt like he could ever say something like this to Lelouch without his character cracking underneath, but he did. And he spoke it so clearly, the unmasked Zero listened intently. "You need to stop acting like a walking journal with a thousand stupid, metal locks!" Hearing himself, Suzaku lowered his voice, making it soft. "You have to open up to people. To me, especially; it'd be a weight off your shoulders. Don't always go around carrying the weight of the world alone, because you have me and I'll gladly help you anytime you need, until one of us breathes our final breath."

Lelouch glimpsed back at his admirer, their eyes catching one another. To Suzaku, his pupils showed hidden pain just wanting to break free.

"Come on, Lelouch Vi Britannia…"

Silence.

Suzaku pleaded again. "Lelouch…"

Finally, a reply came forward. "You want me to open up?"

That question had got him off guard, but he nodded hopefully. "Please."

Relaxing, Suzaku allowed Lelouch to slip from his grip. The prince walked over to the door, his back to the soldier. "I love you, too, Kururugi."

It took him a while for the words to get through his hard skull, to bounce around in his head, to echo, until he understood.

Suzaku let out a small gasp, finding it difficult to believe what he had just heard the king of detachment and emotionlessness say.

There were so many things Suzaku wanted to say, wanted to do. He wanted to fall to his knees and cry until his body was dehydrated. He wanted to run over and kiss Lelouch, hug him to death until he suffocated. He wanted to scream out loud… but of course he didn't.

"You do? Then why did you…pull away from me before that night I admitted…?"

Lelouch still didn't face the one he claimed to love. "Those who don't love themselves aren't prepared to love others," he said, bluntly.

The pilot of the Lancelot understood, yet at the same time, he did not.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"In other words..." Lelouch, peered over his shoulder, and Suzaku felt as if his soul was being seen through, his mysteries and flaws becoming exposed. "I'm ready to perish at any moment. A lover is the last thing someone like me needs…"

And with that, Zero's true identity vanished into thin air, slamming the door behind him.

Suzaku's gaze went to the floor and he slid down to his knees, squeezing his eyes shut, his shoulders heaving as he tried to fight tears. Why was he crying? It wasn't rejection. Or maybe it was. But Lelouch adored him just as much as he did Lelouch. That's all Suzaku has ever wanted, so what made it acceptable to sit here and tolerate watery forms of pain to slip from his eyes? Nothing did. And he was not going to sit here and be a pathetic baby about it. He was going to prove himself to Lelouch. Or maybe more of, prove himself to Zero.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hiya! :D thanks for following through with this story! I promise, I have an ending worth waiting for so bear with Suzaku :3 Also I'd like to thank SkyeElf for being my first reviewer for Diary of Suzaku's heart, I was all like giggly and stuff ^_^ But I thank ALL my reviewers, followers and stuff...yeah :3 ... I'm done. Okay byes xD**


	5. Chapter 5

Suzaku gazed out the window, his eyes closed, leaning against the car door. It was hushed, still and silent between him and Lloyd, and that was a good thing. He didn't want to communicate with the Lancelot's creator nor did he want the Earl to say a word, especially with that bothersome, sarcastic voice he had going on. Suzaku was hoping Lloyd wouldn't break the quietness, but he did. Suzaku, unfortunately, had jinxed himself. Way to go.

"You didn't seem to appreciate training this evening. It is different, but I'm sure it will benefit you when the time comes to assassinate…" he trailed off, a grin spreading across his face. "You know who."

Suzaku shrugged carelessly and crossed his arms.

"Hm, is the Lancelot tiresome to you now? I could tweak with it some more." Lloyd murmured, he scooted closer to Suzaku, his smirk becoming extra extensive. Suzaku opened one eye. _Weirdo._

"Nope."

Lloyd propped himself back, raising his eyebrows comicality. "Ah. I get it! Something is disturbing you huh?" When Suzaku turned his head, narrowing his eyes, the Earl applauded loudly. "Of course!"

The Knight blinked. "What?"

"Worried about Zero?"

Suzaku pursed his lip, and nearly smiled, feeling the irony in the question. You're pretty close, he thought to himself, but only replied with a "You could say that."

Lloyd slipped his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. "Well don't fear! You, in 'my' Lancelot, will be the one and only Knight to get to squeeze the last dewdrops of life from Zero." He said, almost wickedly.

Even picturing slaughtering Lelouch made Suzaku flinch slightly, a shiver slithering up his spine. Would he even be able to do that? Even if Princess Cornelia and the whole Britannian empire were watching? That was a worthy question, and Suzaku didn't have an answer to it.

He twisted in his seat to find Lloyd observing him in a manner that made Suzaku uncomfortable, but then again did he ever even find the man comforting?

"I heard Princess Cornelia knows Zero's true face. Did anybody tell you?"

Lloyd's smirk transformed into a flat line and he sighed. "I'm afraid not. Gino only told-"

The name shot from Suzaku's mouth without warning. "Gino?"

"…Yes?"

"He's the one who found out, wasn't he?" Suzaku asked.

"I'm assuming so, but-"

Suzaku unbuckled his seatbelt. "Stop the car! Stop the car. Goddamn it, HALT THE CAR!"

The driver, astonished by the outburst, did as he was ordered, stopping the vehicle.

Him and Lloyd watched as Suzaku unlocked the door, running off, towards Ashford Academy that was still a few blocks away, then the white-haired earl sneered. "I could have been about to say something very important, that idiot."

...

Suzaku paced in circles in the middle of his room, deep in thought. Lelouch isn't here and he's not answering his phone. Who did he think he was? Batman? He was sure the Britannian had no real excuse to at least pick up his cell when it rings, but he never expected Lelouch to answer, he just tried.

The wait was killing him; he knew who found out Zero's identity. But what could he alone do with this information? Surely, Lelouch would have a plan, however, the last thing Suzaku wanted to do was sit around and waste time, doing nothing. Maybe he could somehow…

A light bulb flashed. Suzaku scampered over to his desk, pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil. He could leave a note then go on ahead. Yeah!

Knowing who Zero really is, Princess Cornelia is bound to be plotting against him. If Suzaku could find out her scheme, he would be able to prevent Lelouch from falling into the Holy Empire's hands.

Suzaku began to write, starting with "Hopefully this was the right thing to do…"

…


	6. Chapter 6

Suzaku stood impatiently in the Command Room, waiting for Gino. He wondered if Lelouch had found his letter by now. This plan seemed like it would work out perfectly without fail. All he had to do was get what he needed to know from Gino without raising suspicion and Zero would figure the rest out, right?

Speaking of the Knight of Three, he sauntered in abruptly, closed the door behind him quietly, a smile on his face and strolled over to Suzaku. "Hey, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah, actually, I wanted to ask you-"

Gino lifted his hands up, holding back a few giggles, much to the Lancelot pilot's confusion. "Listen Kururugi, I'm flattered and everything, but I'm straight."

Suzaku's face turned red as he gradually realized what Gino meant. "Straight? I'm not…you have it all wrong! Why do you think I brought you over here?"

The blond was laughing now. "Well I assumed you were secretly in love with me, I mean who isn't, and that you requested that we meet in private so you could confess, and we'd have one or two hours of smut time! Maybe more…if it got out of control, you know…"

"Smut time?" Suzaku quizzed.

Gino grinned. "You know, like really dirty, filthy, yet sexy-"

"Alright! Just shut up. This is a non-smutty question."

Weinberg's face was obviously strained as he tried not to burst out with laughter. "Non-smutty…"

Suzaku didn't say anything; he only stared coldly, wanting to get to the point. Yes, what had just happened was amusing, but he did not want to be here for long.

The boy became serious. "Okay, what?"

"How did you find out about Zero?"

It seemed Gino was suddenly aware of everything when Suzaku said that. His eyes were light and optimistic, but now they were suspicious and alert. "Why do you ask?"

Suzaku tried to play it casual. "Just wondering."

"Well, I overheard a girl."

That had appeared unlikely to Suzaku. A girl who knew Lelouch was Zero? Who would know?

"Did you know her?" He probed.

Gino tilted his head carelessly. "I don't know who she is, Sherlock. All I know is she was a school girl since she wore a uniform. And she also had red hair. Probably a Britannian."

Red hair. Kallen? If so, where the hell would she even think to speak aloud about Zero? Or did she just choose to tell Weinberg for some odd reason? None of it really made sense.

While Suzaku stood there, thinking to himself, he didn't notice Gino. The Knight of Three was observing him, trying to figure him out. Something did not fit right about Kururugi today, and he knew it.

Too late, Suzaku seen this and he moved towards the exit. "Thanks, you've been a big help…"

"Oh have I? You're leaving a bit fast, aren't you?" Gino propped himself against the wall.

It took Suzaku less than a second for a defense. "Well it is late…and then I have school tomorrow."

Just when he felt like he was safe, only a couple more steps to the door, Gino replied, and all confidence in his plan collapsed. "Not anymore. You SPY!"

The blond had shouted the last word, and Britannian guards slammed open the door, spilling in and seizing hold of Suzaku. He attempted to break free, but when a purple-haired woman marched into the room, he gave up, gripped by his arms and forced on his knees.

Princess Cornelia smirked, pausing just a foot away from Suzaku. "Well done, Gino." The Princess and the new "traitor" caught each other's gazes, and neither of them looked away. "I've always had my doubts about you, Kururugi. Of course, my instincts were accurate. You deceived us, working with Zero, you slime!"

Suzaku tried to fake an expression of desperation. "Where's the proof? All I did was ask-"

Cornelia struck Suzaku across his cheek, and he cried out. "I can read you like an open diary."

The brunette didn't try to argue again; he lowered his head, muttering under his breath, "Lelouch…"

Gino was now in the conversation once more. "So what are we going to do with him?"

"If it weren't for his connection with Zero, he'd be dead within a few hours," he felt the cold glares of the Princess and Gino upon him, but didn't dare look up. "But instead he'll be bait for…Lelouch."

"Then we'll execute them both?" Gino questioned, a sickening hopeful tone in his voice.

Princess Cornelia only smiled. "Take him away, lock him up, and I'll retrieve him in the morning."

The Britannian soldiers, maybe six or seven of them, surrounded Suzaku, pushing him to stand to his feet, and move out of the room. The last thing he heard was, "I'm disappointed in you, Kururugi."

...

For the third time, Lelouch knocked hard on Suzaku's dorm, but there was no response. What was going on? First, he calls then doesn't want to answer later?

Lelouch pulled out his phone, dialing Suzaku's number. _Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. _

The rings stopped.

"Suzaku?"

A voice, one that didn't belong to Suzaku said, "That boy is a traitor." Was it a male?

"Who is this? Where's my friend?"

Someone laughed in the background. "He'll be put to death by Cornelia at 10AM."

Lelouch's anger was rising now. "Answer my goddamn question!"

The voice was now dark, deep and hoarse. "I know you're Zero. Surrender yourself and his blood won't be spilt. Stay hidden, and…well you get the picture." And the call was ended.

...

Lelouch felt like his time was limited. He had to change to Zero now, call the Black Knights together and get Suzaku out of this hell hole he was in. What had that boy done to get himself named a traitor anyway?

As he opened his door, walking hurriedly, he nearly slipped over a piece of paper. Lelouch reached down and looked at it, spotting Suzaku's name at the bottom. It was a note from him.

He read it, and with each and every word, his expression only worsened. Once Lelouch finished the note, his face was twisted with rage and fury. How could Suzaku be so stupid? He should have at least waited for him. His grip tightened, and the letter was crushed in his hands.


	7. Chapter 7

Suzaku had no faith in Lelouch this time around. There was no way he'd outwit Britannia. Right now, he was falling for their lie. Whatever this assembly was supposed to be about would turn into pure chaos. They were going to meet with Zero and bargain, but this would definitely be no real bargain.

His hands restrained by rope behind him, a guard pushed Suzaku forward with the snout of his gun. The brown-haired Japanese boy was walking in front of the team Princess Cornelia had put together to execute her plan. He was in the lead, armed soldiers followed, Knightmares came next, with Gino in his special Knightmare, Tristan, and Princess Cornelia upon his machine's left shoulder.

...

It wasn't long until they stopped marching, coming into an arena of the forest, trees forming around them. Suzaku stared right at Zero, right at Lelouch. Him and the Black Knights seemed to have been waiting. Zero didn't bring much help though. Only two Knightmares. Princess Cornelia undeniably won already.

The princess laughed out of nowhere, breaking the silence. "You actually came, Zero! I said a small army, but I did not think you'd bring such an insignificant force with you," she said as a matter-of-factly.

Zero didn't snap. "This is a bargain, not a battle. I want no one harmed, just my acquaintance back."

Suzaku narrowed his eyes, suddenly wanting to kick Lelouch's ass. He did not just call him that.

"Even if it means the cost of your own life?" Cornelia asked.

"Yes. I trust you'll keep your part of our little deal?"

What deal? Suzaku turned around to spot the Princess speaking something into her ear set. She then appeared to be listening intently, a sneer creeping upon her face. She nodded. "Of course. I always keep my word." She peered at her prisoner. "Don't run, Kururugi. Walk. That's how all trades work."

Trades? Suzaku started to advance towards Zero slowly. If we're trading, then that means somebody is going to Britannia in exchange, but who? Who would be worthy enough in Cornelia's eyes?

That's when it hit him. He came face to face with Zero, both of them in the middle of the field. They stood there, neither of them saying a word.

Suzaku bit his lip, whispering, "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's all part of the plan." Zero replied.

"No, you don't understand!" Suzaku inched closer to Lelouch. "They're going to kill you and-"

Zero cut him off. "Are you forgetting that I'm Zero? I'm insane."

"Which is why-"

Princess Cornelia was losing her patience. "We don't have all day, Zero!"

Suzaku fumed and Lelouch balled his fists.

The raven-haired boy sighed from behind his mask. "You'll be fine," he said, brushing past Suzaku in a silent goodbye, completely unaware that Britannia wasn't the type to make trustworthy deals.

Suzaku didn't believe in Lelouch's last words. It was more like 'you'll be dead' to him. Everything was about to go wrong. Like a game of chess, the Black king was about to be captured, but dishonorably.

A sudden thought came to Suzaku. He never got to warn Lelouch about Cornelia's lie. That's when time appeared to have slowed down; at least that's what it felt like.

Suzaku spun around and yelled out, "ZERO!" His scream alerted everyone swiftly, and havoc erupted.

Cornelia instructed her squad, gripping hold of Tristan, as Gino's Knightmare launched itself upward. The two Black Knights propelled forward in effort to save Zero, rushing past a helpless, frozen Suzaku.

Britannian guards sprayed bullets at the progressing Black Knights, while other Brit Knightmares blocked their ways, shoving them back or down. Zero looked around, dazed and confused at all the fighting. He, of course, never expected this to happen. Gino made this his advantage and grabbed Zero in his Knightmare's hands. Cornelia snickered as they retreated, a captured king in the palm of Britannia's clutches. Suzaku tried to run to Lelouch, but a Britannian Knightmare grasped a hold of him as well, a grip too tight that the boy could barely endure, and followed behind Gino, the Princess, and Zero.

...

Suzaku sat in his cell which was bigger than anticipated, his head in his hands. The ex-Britannian Knight was ashamed. Why didn't he warn Lelouch that time they met in the middle? All of this could have been avoided if he had only remembered. Or maybe not…but it was a nice thought.

It was only a few minutes later and Lelouch was pushed into the same cell as Suzaku…as Lelouch! The boy wasn't wearing his Zero costume any longer, possibly Cornelia confiscated it, trading it with a uniform, but Suzaku was glad to see Lelouch, with his raven hair, purple eyes, and that way he always holds…

Lelouch was holding his side, pain in his expression as if he had just gotten attacked by a gang. He leaned against the wall, sliding down to a sitting position. Suzaku crawled over to him.

He wasn't a doctor, but… "Let me see-"

"No!" Lelouch attempted to scoot away, but just whimpered inaudibly. "You knew she was planning to do…and you didn't…"

Suzaku huffed. "I was going to tell you. It just slipped my mind."

"Who's side are you on? How could something like that slip your mind? Now we're both in here, both going to die. I did this to get you out of harm's way. And you're still here."

"Well thanks for the concern, but I don't need your help all the time. I can handle myself," Suzaku countered bitterly. What right did Lelouch have to question which side Suzaku was on? Yes, he had made a mistake, but all human beings do, even somebody as clever and shrewd as Zero.

Suzaku wanted to say something to defend himself, but the condition that Lelouch was in, stopped him. He had never seen his friend look so crushed, feeble and frail. It was pathetic and unlike Zero. So what he took a pounding? That didn't mean it was time to accept defeat. They wouldn't die here. There had to be a way if they worked together right? All Lelouch needed was a purpose to live and he had one. Two, if Suzaku himself counted.

Suzaku smiled confidently, gazing at Lelouch, who was on the verge of tears, his purple eyes watery.

"Don't cry. I bet you'll come up with a plan. You always do…" Without realizing it, Suzaku placed a hand on Lelouch's cheek. "Nunnally would agree that you're the smartest big brother she knows."

That seemed to get to Lelouch like Kururugi had meant it to because his frown started to turn and the last thing that anybody would imagine, happened. Lelouch kissed him with no warning.

Suzaku's eyes widened; he was shocked, but he didn't pull away; he didn't want to. A tear slid down Lelouch's face, just barely touching Suzaku's hand. They stayed like that for a bit.

Then they both heard footsteps and Suzaku's hand slid down, wiping the tear from Lelouch's cheek before scooting away. Simultaneously, they glared up at the front of the cell.

Princess Cornelia wandered into the room, just outside the cell. "Hello, brother. Just thought I'd come and wish you a happy birthday." A wicked smile crossed her lips.

Suzaku's glare intensified. _Or a not so happy one._

**Author's note: This chapter took forever! Longest one so far. This is dedicated to Jadie who dedicated a chapter from one of her stories to me ^_^ I already outlined all the chapters and you got the one where Suzaku and Lelouch kiss! Yay you xD yaoiiiii. Hope everyone enjoyed! A few more chapters to go and this story will be complete :)**


	8. Chapter 8

"As if you care," Lelouch spat.

Cornelia started to laugh and Suzaku wanted nothing more than to knock her out cold with his bare hands. When her malicious giggles died away, her eyebrows knotted as she observed her brother with judgment and disgrace. "That is true. You're a sorry excuse for a human, Lelouch."

He didn't even flinch a little to Cornelia's insult. "It's Zero."

"Wrong. Your little costume, makes you Zero. And as far as I can see, you're not wearing it."

Suzaku was planning on staying out of the sibling rivalry, but it wasn't his fault that he was curious. "Where is Zero's costume anyway?" When it came out of his mouth, it seemed like a imprudent question.

Cornelia's expression stiffened. "That doesn't matter. You won't see it until the execution."

"So you're going to execute us then?" Lelouch questioned.

The way the princess answered, was horrifying. She said it bluntly, to the point with no emotion as if she couldn't care less about publicly erasing her brother's image, his soul, his face, from earth. "Yes we are, painfully and inhumanly, brother." She scooted forward a bit. "At 10, it all goes down. And you'll both be wiped from history along with Zero." Cornelia didn't let them counter, but just spun on her heels, walking away, her posture, high quality, proud that she had just won the war. Or so she thought.

Suzaku glanced over at Lelouch slowly. "I guess she's right…" In all honesty, he did feel defeated. Usually, his strength gave him the backbone to go on, usually, Lelouch did, but that wasn't enough anymore. They were both going to be facing horrid, excruciating deaths, together. Suzaku didn't want Lelouch to go through that, but he knew that getting themselves out of this one would prove too difficult, even for them as a team. It was time to give up and take what was coming to them.

The ex-prince shook his head, anger and bitterness in his eyes. "There has to be a way."

"You've never been locked up in here. There's no escaping these cells without help."

"There's always a way, you just have to be willing to look hard enough." Lelouch attempted to get up but the pain in his side stopped him, making him wince.

Suzaku hated seeing the one he loved like this. "Stop doing that!"

Lelouch's voice rose this time. "You expect me to wait for death all because of a little pain?"

"No…" Suzaku struggled to find the right words. "Just…don't move."

Despite his anger for Cornelia and even somewhat for the Japanese boy sitting next to him, he smiled, and it wasn't forced. As much as Lelouch wanted to, he could never hold a grudge against Suzaku because he was being thoughtful. "Anymore do's and don't's, Captain Kururugi?"

Suzaku smiled back. "No." He laid his head in Lelouch's lap, facing up, and closed his eyes.

Lelouch looked down at him. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking." When the raven-haired boy tilted his head in confusion, he added, "About my plan."

Suddenly, Lelouch seemed interested and raised his eyebrows. "You have a plan?"

The Lancelot pilot nodded slyly, sitting back up. "…Do you hear that?"

Once more, footsteps were echoing closer. Someone entered the room, a Brit guard. He had his uniform on, the helmet covered his face, and he was holding a gun in one hand, Zero's clothes in another. "Do you two know what cell number the Princess has placed Zero and…" His voice was a little feminine, but it never dawned on Suzaku that the guard was a female. He, now a she, removed her helmet. "Never mind. It's me, guys."

Kallen was standing in front of their cell now, disguised as a soldier of Britannia. She pulled a keycard out and freed them both within seconds.

Suzaku couldn't believe it. "You're here? But when…? How?"

"Well I was hiding behind the trees during the trade-off. When all the chaos happened, I jumped one of the foot-soldiers and stole his uniform. Luckily, Cornelia was too focused to even care about checking for imposters. Then I listened in on a few conversations, got some information, and did what I had to do." Kallen said proudly, beaming. She made it sound so easy, but that definitely wasn't true.

Lelouch's facial expression seemed exceptionally impressed. "Well…we should get out of here."

"Wait," Suzaku glanced at Kallen. "We can't just run or else they'll be back and next time it'll be even harder to get away. I have an idea."

After a bunch of whispering and arguing, they all stared at each other in silence.

Then Lelouch spoke up, glaring at Suzaku. "You're an idiotic fool."

"It'll work though." Kallen defended.

"Not you, too!"

Suzaku balled his fists. "Just shut up. Nobody will get harmed or killed, I promise."

It wasn't that Lelouch didn't trust Suzaku's plan, nor did he doubt the emerald eyes that were observing his own. But logically, if they made the slightest mistake, this would be a death wish and Lelouch had a bad feeling it'd all go wrong. Everything usually did.

However, he gave in. "Fine."

...

Back in the command room, Cornelia sat in her throne, her hands clasped in her lap as she counted down, watching the clock. It was almost time for the execution, so close that every second-

A guard came running in. She couldn't see his face under his mask, but Cornelia had a feeling something was fishy. Something was happening. Something urgent.

"Your majesty, it appears Suzaku Kururugi has escaped."

"What?" Cornelia bit her lip, considering everything she went through to get a hold of Zero. "How did this occur?"

The guard kneeled. "I apologize, your majesty, I was moving to my post when I spotted Kururugi and Zero, wearing his costume, making an effort to escape-"

"How did they even get FREE?" Cornelia yelled, her eyes ablaze with anger.

"I do not know!" The guard uttered, bowing his head so he wouldn't have to look at the Princess. "But I said Kururugi escaped. I managed to capture Zero."

The Princess relaxed slowly. "You did? All by yourself?"

"Yes, your highness. Suzaku did not try to rescue Zero. He kept running."

Cornelia smirked. "So he only cares for his own life? That coward… and what is your name, soldier?"

It took the guard more than three seconds to answer. "Collin."

Princess Cornelia rose from her throne. "Then Collin, get a Knightmare. The execution begins now."

**Author's note: I have a question! Does anybody think I'm killing Cornelia? I feel like I'm ruining her character. Or is it just me? But anyway, hope you all are enjoying! I'll be working on Chapter 9 soon enough and that's when EVERYTHINGGGG happens *le-gasp* I'll see if I can finish it before Sunday night and post it, if not maybe by Tuesday? Keep following along! And WrittenWorlds, I finished the AMV I'll post the link on my profile so you can see it. That goes for anybody else who wants to as well. And yes, it is a Code Geass AMV. Sorry for being obsessed ;( xD**


	9. Chapter 9

Zero's hands were tied behind his back just as Suzaku's had been the day of the "bargain". He walked forward down the column that led to a stage, held at gun point by the soldier moving only inches behind. Ahead of him stood eight Knightmares, four on each side, armed with weapons that suited their size. At the very end on the left side, the final Knightmare, was Gino's. Zero was closer to the stage now, and upon it, he could clearly see the executioner. He looked like a normal soldier, considering his uniform was about the same, his face hidden by the helmet. On the other side, Princess Cornelia waited with a winning smirk on her expression, a few guards' behind her in a formation. And last but not least, a camera crew waited by the right side of the walkway. His death would be on public TV.

Zero finally made it to the execution stage, unfazed as he took his place in the middle, the cameras following his every step. It was time for the beginning of the end to begin. The clock of his life was starting to tick down.

Princess Cornelia raised her hands and the cameras were now on her. "The day has come! We have gathered here today to witness the death of Zero the terrorist! His shenanigans and mischiefs are over as is he. Britannia has and always will overpower all who oppose them." She glared at Zero sideways, but he didn't notice. "I guess he has to learn that the hard way."

A guy standing by the camera man lifted up a card that read, 'The identity.'

Cornelia continued, "I bet you've all wondered who is behind that mask. Well today, it'll be revealed. And it may be shocking to know that…he is not Japanese!" She exclaimed then paused as if knowing that her viewers were gaping and gasping with shock. "Surprising, is it not?"

While the princess yapped, Zero assumed this was his time to die. There were so many Knightmares, armed ones. There was nothing else to do but run. An idiotic thing that would have been. He would have been shot down the instant he jumped from the stage. A suicidal attempt. A failure. No matter what, his end was coming, and it would include his blood spilling and staining the concrete below him. Then everyone would know...who Zero is. Or who he was.

"But his identity won't be exposed until his final breath," Cornelia was saying. "His death will be painful and tormenting. I thought maybe I should just shoot him, but that ruins the fun. So my conclusion is this," An unbearable pause, followed by a wider, wicked grin. "This soldier here," she pointed to the guard, the executioner on the left side of Zero. "He will have the honor of skinning Zero's life and illuminating Zero's face from that mask. Everyone look up." The camera did as told.

Above the leader of the Black Knight's head was a beam. What was special about it though?

~~~OoO~~~

It would be a dreadful method to leave this world. Zero could not think of anything worse as he stood up on the chair with the noose around his neck. Was all of this really going to be on public TV? How many people were going to watch a man be hanged? How many children? He observed with resentment and irritation as Cornelia gestured to the executioner with a nod. This was it.

The one, who would take his life, placed his gun on the ground and walked over to stand beside Zero. He pulled back a foot, ready to kick the chair, Zero's life support, out from under his feet.

The terrorist braced himself, knowing he'd only have a few horrid seconds…

Before the executioner could do anything, all the Knightmares went senseless. The machine that had been standing across from Gino suddenly leaped forward, starting a fight with Tristan, lunging repeatedly, causing the Knight of three to defend himself. The camera turned and Corneila heaved a sigh. "HALT!"

But they didn't listen.

Knightmares started attacking each other, confused. Nobody knew who was on whose side, or who was actually controlling the machines, it was only havoc. The foot-soldiers were too focused on the battles, wasting their ammo on them even though they barely scratched the armor of the Knightmares. That was the plan. While all were absorbed in the crazy that went on, Zero was being freed.

The executioner pulled the noose from Zero's neck and helped the terrorist down.

"It's me, Zero. Ohgi," he said from under his helmet, picking up his gun. A black knight? "We need to get you out of here." He motioned Zero to follow him, leaping down from the side of the stage, endeavoring to stay close to the wall to avoid the warfare. Cornelia was the first to spot Zero's absence from the hanging beam, and even in a huge room full of stupid soldiers and Knightmares, she easily found the two, Zero and the executioner, escaping.

"Sometimes if you want things done, you do it yourself." The princess muttered to herself, taking a gun from her jacket. She refused to let her brother get away from her.

Ohgi and Zero were running now. They were sweating and their hearts were pounding loudly, so loudly Zero could hardly hear himself pant. Only a few feet from the entrance, a gunshot rang distinctly and the terrorist cried out, but he didn't stop. Cornelia was hot in pursuit, her eyes filled with ferocity.

She fired once more. Again, Zero was hit. Ohgi tried to shoot back at her, but he wasn't concentrated enough on aiming that he missed embarrassingly each and every time.

And what happened next, seemed to appear in slow motion, like in those movies when epic things occurred. Cornelia froze suddenly, shooting three times. The bullets soared. Practice would pay off, the princess thought to herself. She knew that Lelouch was dead.

One whizzed past Ohgi's head, another skimmed Zero's arm and the last caught the terrorist in the shoulder and, that being all he could withstand, Zero collapsed.

As he and the ground met, his mask fell from his face. To Cornelia, she could care less about that boy, that traitor who used to be a Knight of Rounds under her command. She had no use for him. He wasn't who she was looking for. To the under cover executioner, the black knight, that boy was a hero, his teammate. Ohgi abruptly turned to aid his leader, but was startled to see Zero's race. He was Japanese. "Zero?"

Cornelia rolled her eyes, staring at the two in front of her. Why should she waste any more precious bullets on them? Suzaku was an exception, but she had shot him three times, so he was sure to die in the next couple of hours to come. With that, she strolled back, leaving her soldiers to the battle that still went on as if she didn't give a single care.

Ohgi moved Suzaku on his back, supporting his weight in his arms. The emerald eyes of Zero were fading, losing it's color, it's life. "You're Japanese, too?"

Mustering up all he could regardless of his wounds, Suzaku uttered, "No, I'm not…Lelouch…"

The Black Knight raised his eyebrows. "Who's Lelouch? Is that your real name, Zero?" If Suzaku had not been feeling as if he were on the verge of death, he'd have screamed, "I'm not Zero!" at the top of his lungs and right in Ohgi's ear, but he couldn't. Even leaning up hurt him.

_Real name? Yes. Who's Lelouch, Suzaku thought to himself. Well, he's the keenest guy I knew. The one who knew just about everything. A gambler, and one that never lost. A black king, that was outsmarted at times, but never overwhelmed. A boy…I loved._

Suzaku's eyes began to close, but Ohgi wanted to know more. "Zero!" And idiotically, his gave the Japanese boy a small shake.

The pain was so excruciating, that he cried out like he had when the first bullet surprised him. When he shifted, even slightly, he could feel the wounds expanding.

"ZERO!" Ohgi yelled, his grasps on the Lancelot pilot tightening, eyes watering. He didn't know who Suzaku, or as a matter of fact who Zero even was, yet he was about to cry? How nice… If only Lelouch did that… Maybe during Suzaku's funeral, that would happen.

He glanced to the side, at the raging Knightmares, wondering where that boy was.

And he looked back up at Ohgi and smiled, closing his eyes once more before everything faded into darkness.

One last call. "ZERO!"

_**Am I dead? **__Suzaku was sure of it.__** I am dead, aren't I? … At least, my plan to keep Lelouch alive worked.** _Or did it?


	10. Chapter 10

They had rushed Suzaku to the closest hospital in Area 11.

As far away from Britannia as they could get. But they didn't have that kind of time. Neither did Suzaku. It was urgent. The doctors were hasty with the Japanese boy. They didn't even care that their hands were wet with his blood.

He was so young. He had so much more to live for. He couldn't leave the world like this. They couldn't let him. And his friend who was in the waiting room, gripping Zero's mask, seemed to need him.

~~~OoOoO~~~~

Lelouch extended a hand up to touch his bandaged left cheek, feeling a bearable sting, the kind of sting that felt good. If anything, Lelouch had thought he deserved the cut, or maybe more. While Suzaku was in immense pain, having been shot in multiple places, he had a little scratch.

How pitiful.

"It's all your fault," Lelouch muttered angrily at the mask next to him as if it were Zero, biting his lip. He was sitting by the door of Suzaku's operation room, his arms wrapped around his legs, his head in his knees. You couldn't see because of his hair that covered his eyes, but he was crying. And he felt completely pathetic. He was weeping like a baby. But to Lelouch, he sensed he had every right to. He had allowed Suzaku to get himself into this, and he had been too weak as a fighter in the Knightmare machine during the execution.

His job was to get Suzaku and Ohgi out of there, but he had failed.

Lelouch recalled attacking Gino just as Suzaku was about to be hung, Cornelia chasing after and shooting Suzaku down.

If he hadn't have been so caught up in combat, he could've saved him. But he didn't.

A small sob danced from Lelouch's throat and a shadow slipped into his view against the ER's door. He looked up.

Kallen was there, dressed not as a school girl nor a Britannian guard, but her true self. She tried to give Lelouch a smile. "Hey, how are you holding up? Worried about him?"

"Very worried." He stood up, and against his will, grabbed Zero's mask. "It's all... my fault."

The red head's upside down frown faded. "No it isn't. It's mine too since I let him do his plan as well. Yes, I feel guilty, but I saw that look in his eyes, and I know you did too. His heart told him to do it. For your protection," She said.

Lelouch's eyes narrowed. "He lied to me, Kallen. He promised nobody would get hurt…or killed. But open up to reality. Here we are, and behind that door, Suzaku's hanging onto his own life by a fragile, thin thread that'll snap soon enough!" His voice had rose, but he lowered it now. "He'll die soon."

Kallen could not believe her ears. Was this really Zero? Or an imposter as she had been when breaking him out of prison? He didn't sound like the terrorist who had been fighting to make the world a better place, to free Elevens from being treated unfairly by Britannia. He sounded like a…

Weakling.

"With that attitude," Kallen replied, her tone sharp. "Maybe so. But this is Suzaku we're talking about. We know he's strong. He can make it through this. You just have to give him a chance."

As hard as he tried, Lelouch couldn't control the hurt in his chest. It was like cupid had shot an arrow through his heart, but instead the arrow was a sword, and cupid was the devil, saying he'd do everything he could to make sure Suzaku never made it back to him alive.

Lelouch opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Then a tiny, "I-I…"

"You love him, don't you?"

Did he? He wasn't sure how he felt. His feelings became disoriented, confused, and jumbled up when he thought of Suzaku, and his beautiful smile. Did he love Suzaku? And if he did, in what way?

He didn't make any sobbing noises, but he just stood there, his eyes on the floor as tears continued to abandon him, flowing down his cheeks like water droplets on a car window on rainy days.

Kallen reached out and slipped Zero's mask out of Lelouch's hand.

"You don't need to look at this any longer. Just stay here and relax. I have something I want to bring you." She was thinking about talking to him more, but she had a feeling he only wanted to speak with Suzaku. What she would show him might help just a bit. She placed a comforting hand on Lelouch's shoulder before leaving him.

~~~~OoOoO~~~~~

Suzaku's vision was barely working. Everything was dark, cold and lonely. He could just slightly hear the voices of people. Was it him, or did they sound concerned? Oh yeah, now he remembered. It was all coming back. He was on the verge of death. Even if the- doctors?- were giving it their all, calling for certain utensils when they were needed, it was too late. Suzaku could already feel Death himself creeping in the room, breathing on his neck, mocking him of his early passing. But he wasn't ready to die yet. He wanted to see Lelouch's face one last time. Then would he go happily. But these doctors didn't know that. With no success, he attempted to say Lelouch, but it came out like a tired groan, "Layloo…" A nurse grabbed Suzaku's hand tightly, leaning over him but he could hardly make out her features as she began to shush him, saying everything would be alright. He tried again, but she hushed him once more and repeatedly until he stopped. Suzaku silently cursed. So his fate was decided. He'd die alone.

~~~OoOoO~~~~

It had been awhile now. Suzaku was still in the operation room, still alive, surprisingly.

A voice mutters, "how is he?" The nurse?

Another answers, a male voice, deep and grim, "He's lost so much blood…I don't know if we'll be able to stitch him up in time. Most likely, he won't live-"

Live.

Something activated within Suzaku suddenly. A voice. Lelouch?

Live. It whispered.

"Keep trying until he's dead!" The nurse shouted. "Don't give up now! He may live!"

Live. It said.

The doctor nodded. "Alright."

Live.

Suzaku had been ready to give up.

Live.

But now, he couldn't.

Live.

It was as if he were being forced.

_I order you to live..._

**Author's note: Wasn't planning on updating until Saturday or so, but XxEverKnoxX made my day with a good review so I decided to update now just for her! :) Thanks for the awesome review, Ever :D**


	11. Chapter 11

Everything was white, besides the figure engulfed by red liquid that expanded itself around the person. The blood was already spreading, soaking Zero's clothes in a pool that surrounded his body. Lelouch squinted against the light to get a better view. Was that really Zero? Was he watching himself die?

The Prince inched closer to get a peek, and he got to his knees beside Zero, reaching out with a shaking hand, afraid that he would see himself staring right back at him. When the mask was slipped off, it revealed a pale looking boy with brown, curly hair.

Suzaku blinked up, grimacing as if he hadn't seen light in such a long time. "Oh, it's you. Hey…"

That was all he had to say? While blood seeped through his clothes and stained the white floors?

One of Lelouch's eyes twitched. "Hey? You're losing blood for goodness sakes!"

"I am, aren't I?" Suzaku murmured weakly, attempting to manage a feeble smile. "But it's okay. Everything's alright now. At least I get to see your face once more…" He extended a hand up to place on Lelouch's cheek, smearing some of his blood upon him accidentally. But Lelouch barely noticed. Or he didn't care.

"I swear if you're quitting on me-"

He stopped. Just out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a tear trickling down Suzaku's face.

"Would you kiss me one last time if I asked you to?"

Lelouch tried to sound confident, but his voice broke under all his emotions, his despondency, his sorrow. "You won't die." That was all he could manage to say.

He couldn't, right? Kallen had to be right. This was Suzaku. He…

Suzaku chuckled halfheartedly. "You can't tell me when I will or won't die." The Japanese boy's hand was starting to slip away, but Lelouch grabbed hold of it.

"I can," he sobbed angrily. "And I will!"

Suzaku's eyes closed slowly. "You're not God..."

"DON'T! Don't leave!" Lelouch screamed, his grip tightening around the ex-soldier's hand. He started to rant. "If only I never dragged you into this," He said each word so quickly it was almost impossible to catch. "I only wanted to make this world better for Nunnally! If I could rewind time, I'd-I'd-I'd-"

"Shut up…" Suzaku demanded softly. His hand suddenly felt light and…dead, in Lelouch's as if it would fall if he let go. But he knew he wouldn't dare.

Lelouch pulled out his contacts and leaned over Kururugi. "Look at me, Suzaku! Open your eyes and look, one last time."

You could just barely hear it, but Suzaku whispered faintly, "your geass won't work on me…"

Something shattered in Lelouch when he heard those words. They sounded like they had lost all hope. He grabbed Suzaku's face roughly, the blood from Lelouch's hands getting on his face, yelling, "LIVE, DAMN IT! JUST LIVE! PLEASE!"

The emerald eyes snapped open.

~~~OoOoOoO~~~~

And so did Lelouch's, feeling a hand shake his shoulders gently. "Wake up, Mr. Lamperouge." He was back in the waiting room. It was all just a dream. Suzaku dying, the blood, the tears…all a dream. Thank god. Lelouch looked up, catching gazes with a doctor with brown hair and glasses who was smiling.

"Suzaku is recovering well," he said lightly. "Would you like to go and see him?"

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

Suzaku was staring up at the ceiling in the hospital bed, seeming dazed and confused when Lelouch and the doctor walked in. His eyes were unfocused when his head turned slowly to look at them.

"Yes, quiet amazing, isn't it? I thought he would die, yet he made it through the whole operation. So much blood-loss, I'd lost faith. So determined, your friend was," the doctor was saying.

A smirk formed on Lelouch's lips. "Oh, is that so? That's a bit fascinating."

The doctor nodded. "I leave you now. Don't be long. If he's a little off, don't fret much about it." He informed, before closing the door behind him.

Lelouch watched the door for a while and turned to Suzaku, moving to his side. "You look…"

Suzaku gripped the ends of the white sheets tightly, sighing deeply. "Terrible?"

_More like almost dead._

"I was going to say pale…" Lelouch muttered, placing his hand on top of Suzaku's. "Your hands are freezing. How are you feeling?"

Suzaku's shoulders heaved into a small shrug. "Fine, I suppose. A little dizzy though. And my vision is kind of blurry; I can hardly focus on anything."

Lelouch hung his head. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," Suzaku said bitterly, his voice appearing to suddenly have strength. "I did what I had to do. If I didn't pretend to be Zero, you would be here now in my position…" He trailed off, and Lelouch lifted his head to see Suzaku glaring at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Suzaku adapted a iron grip on Lelouch's hands, squeezing hard. "You forced me to live…you are your stupid geass."

The atmosphere was unexpectedly turning sour.

Lelouch bit back his anger. Why wasn't he happy about at least living? "I didn't activate it."

"Maybe not, but you cursed me with it in the first place," Suzaku spat. "I should be dead. The doctor knows it, too. If I never had that 'live on' geass in me…"

"You would be dead. I saved your life. Be grateful."

At this point, Suzaku was nearly yelling. "Grateful? Listen, I'd rather be dead than in this condition. You don't understand how much pain I'm in! It hurts just to move a tiny bit!"

They were in each other's faces now, both with expressions of passionate hatred.

"So you'd leave me," Lelouch uttered desperately. "When you know I'd blame myself for your death? When you know that I would wallow in my self-pity and grief?"

Suzaku relaxed, slowly lacing his fingers around Lelouch's. "No, that's not what I'm sa-"

Lelouch pulled back. "It's exactly what you're saying. Just shut up." He sounded like he was about to cry as he repeated, "shut up, shut up, shut up," even though Suzaku wasn't speaking.

"And to think, I was actually falling for you, Kururugi." He said under his breath.

That hit Suzaku where it hurts the most; his heart, which skipped a beat as Lelouch sped out the room.

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

Lelouch was just exiting the hospital when he crossed paths with Kallen, the boy with an expression of pure fury, his lips twisted in a frown. He was walking fast, but the red head blocked him with her body.

"Where are you going? Is he okay?" She asked quietly, clutching a book close to her chest.

Lelouch waved her off. "He's fine," he replied, his voice uncaring and emotionless. _Unfortunately_, his purple eyes seemed to be muttering. As childish as it may be, Lelouch almost wished Suzaku had just died. Maybe then, he'd be happy, since that was apparently what he wanted.

Kallen raised her eyebrows, already sensing tension. "What happened now?"

"Nothing that's any of your concern."

"Right," Kallen mumbled. "I'm going to go see how he is…take this." She slid the book she had been holding into Lelouch's hand and pushed past him, making sure her disappointment showed on her face.

Lelouch glanced down at the book. The front had a tag that read, 'Suzaku Kururugi.'

"What is this?"

Kallen heard him, but he had said it so low, she wasn't sure if she was meant to. "Read it. Maybe something will fix up this little war you and Suzaku have started."

And then she left, leaving Lelouch standing there, with Suzaku's…

Diary.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hold on a minute, you what?" Suzaku yelled, nearly jumping from the hospital bed, and falling down sideways. "How…? Why?"

Kallen, who was sitting beside him, mustered up an answer. "Well, you never locked your dorm the morning you disappeared, and Milly went to check up on you since you missed class…and the diary happened to be on your desk, opened up…"

"Don't tell me she read it." Suzaku muttered inaudibly. If she had, he doubted he could ever show his face to the girl again without dashing for the hills.

"She didn't," Kallen replied.

Suzaku relaxed as he sighed in relief. "Oh thank god." What a nightmare that would have been for the student council president to know that he was in love with another guy, and not just any random guy but Lelouch! If they were ever all in the same room, he had a bad feeling she'd just grin at him, her eyes motioning to Lelouch every five seconds, trying to keep from giggling up a storm.

"But I did." Kallen whispered, grinning a bit.

"You did?" Suzaku shouted, his eyes widening in horror.

"Chill. I didn't." Kallen wondered if that was a lie, basically she knew about him liking Lelouch since she seen his name a million times in the thing, but technically, she still hadn't _read_ it. His name just happened to...be in the page...that she... Oh nevermind.

It may have been cold in the room anyway, but Suzaku couldn't help but shiver at what he had been told. "So let me get this straight, Lelouch has my diary?"

The red head nodded.

Suzaku huffed out, rubbing his forehead. "I wrote personal things…about him in there."

"I never knew you wrote stuff like that out," Kallen said. "I think it's cute."

"Well it won't be to Lelouch. Everything is too mushy and he…isn't."

Kallen rose from her seat, pushing hair behind her ears. "Take my word for it, he won't like you any less because of it. He's not that immature." Just as she was about to take her leave…

"Wait, could you do me a favor?" Suzaku asked.

"Yeah?"

Suzaku's hand pulled out a folded piece of paper from under his pillow and he held it out to her. "Give this to Lelouch next time you see him, please?"

For some reason, Kallen smirked devilishly. "A love letter, huh?"

"No!" Suzaku blurted out, his cheeks flushing with red and his lips turning into a frown. "Or…uh you could say that, but it's more of an apology. I was acting childish today."

Kallen took the paper, her grip around it soft and almost loving, "So when are you getting out of here?"

Suzaku shrugged. "Soon enough."

~~~OoOoOoOo~~~

Lelouch was sitting in class, bored as a doorknob. He was pretending to pay attention to the teacher blab, his head propped on one hand, his eyes dull, sleepy and tired looking. He hadn't got much rest, staying up reading Suzaku's diary. Lelouch was surprised. He had no idea that Kururugi could put that much effort and emotion into words he jotted down on a piece of paper. The way he spoke of Lelouch was also just as interesting. He never thought of himself as beautiful…confusing, maybe... but not beautiful. Lelouch didn't think he wasn't attractive, he just never cared much about how his appearance.

His eyes wandered over to Suzaku's empty seat, and he frowned, balling his other fist that was casually resting on the table. Was he a bit hard on the Japanese boy the last time they had talked?

_And to think I was actually falling for you._

Lelouch bit his lip. Maybe that was a little too tough to say before storming out the room?

An elbow struck him in the arm softly and Lelouch automatically lifted his head, sitting up straight in his seat. It was no question who did that. He glared over at Rivalz who pointed in front of him.

Lelouch turned his head to a loud, obnoxious, fake cough. The teacher was staring at him, her arms crossed, her eyebrows raised. "Are you listening to me, Lelouch?"

Students peered at the prince.

"Yes." It was a lie, but what was he supposed to do? He hated when everyone watched him.

She tapped her foot. "Oh, you are? Where's your history textbook?"

Lelouch looked down. On his table, was Suzaku's diary, flipped over to the back, the name hidden. He grabbed it quickly, setting it in his lap, and pulled out his textbook. "Sorry…" he muttered quietly.

The teacher had seen it, but regarded it. Maybe she thought it was a book. "The page number is on the board," she said, turning back to face the whole class. "So as I was saying…"

Once again, Lelouch zoned out, his grip on the diary tightening.

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

The bell rang and students packed up and stampeded out of the classroom, Lelouch being the last, the diary still in his hand.

"Excuse me, Lelouch?" A voice murmured. "Could I speak with you?"

At first, he assumed it was a mushy, girl who was attempting to ask him out, but that wasn't correct.

Unfortunately.

His shoulders tensed when he realized it was his teacher and he looked back, smiling. "Yes?"

"That book…is it distracting you from paying attention to my class?"

Unconsciously, Lelouch held it protectively to his chest. "No. I wasn't even reading it then."

"Are you sure?" She didn't sound convinced. "Let me see it."

It happened again. Something inside him made him do things he wouldn't normally do. Was it a feeling? Lelouch's voice suddenly broke, and he started stuttering.

"N-no. Please."

The teacher stomped over to him, her hand out. "I said let me see it. I won't do anything to it. I pro-"

He backed up without realizing it, and she lunged forward to grab it.

Lelouch suddenly had the fingers of his free hand around her wrist.

He had to keep this diary to himself only. It was Suzaku's heart. Nobody would have it besides him.

"I said no." Lelouch said firmly as they caught gazes. She stared at him, wide eyed, as Lelouch's left eye faded into a red color. "You'll be blind to this diary, oblivious to its existence, even when it's in front of your line of sight. Yes?" He released her arm and she nodded.

Lelouch held the book right in her face, and she did nothing. "You should be going now."

The Britannian boy smirked, and turned to leave, entering the halls. "Yes, I should."

Had he really just used his Geass on a teacher to protect Suzaku's diary?

It was unbelievable, but he had. Lelouch pressed the journal against his chest gently.

Suzaku's secrets, his feelings, emotions and his heart were meant for the eyes of nobody, but him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: This is the LAST chapter people! :3 Sorry if it seemed rushed. I was a bit too excited to finish it. I mean, I bet most of you who's been following were DYING to know the ending. Wolf of Summer, even I don't know what Suzaku wrote in his diary since he won't tell me xD but seriously, I never thought about that! Entry 1 is in one of the earlier chapters though. But anyway, this is the ending. I had a more "messed up" or sad ending to this, if anybody wants I can add that as an alternate end (just if anybody's curious about it) but thanks for reading! I appreciate it :D**

Suzaku had walked from the hospital to Ashford Academy and was now sitting under that same tree where he had made his first attempt to admit his feelings to Lelouch. If Kallen had given Lelouch that note, then it wouldn't be long until he got here. Suzaku was holding a small sunflower he had seen along the way, softly stroking the yellow pedals. He smiled at it, despite his concern.

"I got your note."

That startled Suzaku and he quickly hid the flower behind his back. Lelouch didn't seem to notice.

He looked up to see Lelouch with his usual bored expression, a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Good…" Suzaku murmured. "Sit down; I need to talk to you."

Lelouch nodded and sat down next to the Japanese boy, observing him with piercing eyes. The way he was watching Suzaku made his heart pound hard in his chest. It made the atmosphere…icy.

"I…I'm apologizing for earlier." Suzaku said as Lelouch's breath caught in his throat as if he was surprised. "You were right. I should be grateful-"

"No, it's fine." Lelouch whispered.

Suzaku couldn't help but smile like he had at the flower that was in his hand. "Shut up. You knew you were right. I was just being stupid, and I'm sorry."

"I am, too."

Suzaku scooted closer to Lelouch, dropping the flower behind him and grabbing both of his hands in his own. "Could I ask you something?"

As odd as Lelouch thought this was, he didn't pull back, but peered at their intertwined fingers cautiously, then met gazes with Suzaku. "Of course."

"_Do you love me?"_

He saw Suzaku's lips move, but he didn't hear anything. Or at least he heard one question, but it was one that he would rather avoid answering. Was that what he had asked?

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said do you love me?" Suzaku muttered impatiently, squeezing Lelouch's hands.

This was the one thing he despised. He hated having to dig deep inside himself for answers. He didn't know how he felt. And he didn't want to know. So he didn't reply.

"Please," Suzaku pleaded. "I have to know."

Lelouch really didn't want to, but Suzaku's emerald eyes were burning into him, begging for some kind of answer that would satisfy him. "Well…we're both guys and-"

"I don't give a damn!" Suzaku yelled a bit too loudly, grasping a fistful of Lelouch's shirt and yanking the boy forward. "Just…answer me. I'm begging you," he whimpered.

Lelouch tried to free himself unsuccessfully. "And I'm begging you to let go."

At that moment, Suzaku didn't care about holding in his emotions. He'd let his heart talk now. Uncontrollably, he forced Lelouch towards him, kissing him hungrily. It didn't last long. Lelouch stopped it. Besides, this wasn't the place to be doing things like that where others could easily spot them.

"Why are you always going back and forth with me?"

Lelouch glared at him foully, and reached into his bag, pulling out Suzaku's diary. "This is why."

"What about it?" Suzaku inquired. "that's how I feel." It was the truth. Everything that had worried him, scared him, confused him, or anything about Lelouch that he had to think about…went down in there.

"And you can feel that strongly about me yet not tell me?"

Suzaku shrugged. "You don't know what it's like. How could you and I be more? Besides, when was the last time you actually gave how you felt about anything emotionally, a chance?"

The raven-haired boy sat there in silence for a bit, then sighed. "I guess you're right. Sorry," he said faintly, sliding the diary into Suzaku's hands and standing up.

Suzaku got to his feet, too, backing up purposely to crush the sunflower on the ground, under his foot.

He didn't exactly know why, but he was angry. At Lelouch? He didn't know that either.

Two arms wrapped around his waist and a head pressed against his chest. Suzaku looked down to see Lelouch hugging him. "I'm sorry..."

Never had Suzaku heard Lelouch say those words. It made butterflies flutter in his stomach and caused his cheeks to slightly turn red. Suzaku's arms were at his side, but he raised them to embrace Lelouch back tightly. "It's alright, Lelouch."

They stayed like that for a while in each other's arms. Then Lelouch ruined it by squeezing Suzaku too hard, making the ex-soldier yelp.

"Sorry!"

~~~OoOoOoOoO~~~

"Could I ask you for one more thing?" Suzaku asked as he and Lelouch were walking through the dim, deserted halls of Ashford.

They stopped and Lelouch turned to face him. "Yes?"

Suzaku leaned in. "Would you-"

Lelouch cut him off with a sweet, short kiss. "Yes I would."

"How did you…?"

A smile formed across Lelouch's face. "Your diary has taught me so much about you, Kururugi…" The prince said, walking off. "Good night."

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

Suzaku sat down on his bed with the diary as he began to rip out his entries. He didn't need people figuring things out about him just by reading this! How embarrassing. Page one, two and three. Gone. Four, five and six. Gone. Even after all his entries were gone, he continued tearing blank pages out.

Once at the end, he froze and gaped down at the torn journal, at the final page.

It had been written on. And he knew exactly who's handwriting that was.

"_There are no secrets, emotions, pains, words or syllables worth writing down on a piece of paper when you can share your heart with me."_

Suzaku's heart skipped a beat as he read the last part.

"_-Love, Lelouch."_


	14. Chapter 14: True Ending

**So while looking through my documents for my chapter 5 of Sucked In, I came across this chapter which I forgot to upload. The previous chapter though, is one ending. This is an alternate ending, (which was meant to be the true ending, but I wanted to be happy!) more of a sad one than a happy one. Feedback for the ending you thought was the best would be great :D**

**And Thank you for you who followed this story and reviewed, it was a blast entertaining you guys. I may just write another Suzaku x Lelouch and hopefully you all will like that one too –SailorKickass270 :)**

* * *

Suzaku ran a gloved hand down the page that Lelouch had last written on, trying to hold back a few tears that threatened to escape. He sat up from his desk and closed the diary softly.

He would do this almost every day before he left his room, and he'd always forget how much it hurt. It hurt as much as it did to impale Lelouch with that sword, but the pain was no more than he deserved.

Why had he gone along with the Zero Requiem? Was it the anger he felt towards Lelouch for the death of Euphemia, or was it the insistent look he had given Suzaku as he handed the mask to him?

It was what Lelouch had wanted, so perhaps that is why he had carried on throughout the plan. But it killed Suzaku just as much as it did Lelouch, to have to be the one to shed the blood of a beloved.

The Japanese boy glanced at Zero's mask and it glared in return, mocking him from the table beside the diary. He picked it up, his fingers tensing around it.

"I didn't kill him….you did."

Who it was he was talking to, he had no clue. It was the one thing he always said to the mask, to convince himself that he hadn't taken Lelouch's life. Zero the terrorist did.

Suzaku continued to stare at it, but was interrupted by a knock upon his door. He put the mask on, becoming Zero, for that was who he was to be forever. He grabbed the diary and placed it in a drawer, and then walked over to the door, opening it.

Nunnally was there, no longer blind, her blue eyes staring up at him. He didn't like looking at her. She reminded him too much of Lelouch. It was a bittersweet kind of feeling. His little sister had been everything to him and seeing her alive and well would be what Lelouch would want, but all it did for Suzaku was bring back the memories of everything her brother had sacrificed to get her this far.

She was wearing a beautiful dress, her hair cascading down her shoulders. Her mouth was a line, not a smile nor a frown, but she was obviously somewhat gloomy.

Nunnally peered around as if making sure nobody was around before saying, "I'm going somewhere special and I want you to come with, Su-…Zero."

That was another thing. This girl was the only one who knew the 'new' Zero's true identity. Suzaku had never told her, not wanting to go against Lelouch last wishes, but she somehow found out.

Suzaku only nodded silently, following behind her as she started down the hall.

* * *

They stood outside next to one another, hushed, staring out at the little pool full of floating candles. Nunnally, who was hunched over the edge, ghosted her fingers over the red one in her hands. This one was for Lelouch, and his name was neatly written on the side of it.

In a matter of seconds, her sobs were all Suzaku could hear as it filled the air with sorrow and his eyes with tears. Even behind the mask, he still felt the urge to stop himself, but he couldn't. Zero was crying.

The brown haired boy got to his knees and embraced Nunnally, who was now releasing heart wrenching sniffles and whimpers. They stayed like that for a bit, and then Suzaku slipped the candle out from her shaking hands. She quieted down, watching as he lit the candle and held it out to her.

When Nunnally didn't take the candle, he opened her hand and wrapped her fingers around it. Observing it for a while, she then placed it in the pool, and pushed it forward, towards the others.

They watched the candle float off, sailing towards Eupehemia's.

Whether honoring Lelouch's memory like this would have pleased the prince or not, didn't matter. Suzaku had his own way of doing so. Geass was like wishes.

If Suzaku Kururugi was no longer an existence in this world, so be it. Zero was who he was now. Not a terrorist, but a protector of righteousness and a defender of justice. If he was to stay by Nunnally's side then so be it. Whatever Lelouch's wishes were, Suzaku would live on…and fulfill them.

And he'd do so as Zero…forever…

Just

For

Lelouch Vi Britannia, the boy who had opened the diary of his heart.


End file.
